


The Ugly Lamp

by brokeneluvian



Series: Drunk Writing Circle and Other Prompt Fills [4]
Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-17
Updated: 2016-11-17
Packaged: 2018-08-31 14:07:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8581474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokeneluvian/pseuds/brokeneluvian
Summary: DWC Roommate prompt: Someone brings home a very ugly lamp they found for the living room.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I googled ugly lamps and was not disappointed.  
> Hawke realizes she definitely doesn’t trust Anders to do any interior decorating :P  
> Another little glimpse into my Roommates AU that may never be.

Hawke was exhausted; her feet ached from the twelve hour shift she just finished. Varric had apologized a million times for asking her to stay, but Norah had called in sick, and she was always willing to help out her friend. She just wanted to get home and pour herself a glass of wine (ha, who was she kidding, whiskey,) and binge watch the trash TV shows that Anders had recently introduced her to.

When she got to the apartment it was empty, aside from the animals. Anders was nowhere to be found. _Where could he be?_ It was late, wasn’t it? Or maybe it was early? Since she started working at the Hanged Man her grasp on time was, well… not there.

She poured herself a glass of whiskey after changing into her dragon footie pajamas and started Netflix. She had never been into reality TV shows. They were too fake, and completely over-the-top, but Anders always watched them, and ever since she sat with him through an entire season of _Real Housewives of Ostwick_ she’s been hooked.

Anders arrived home after she’d gotten through a couple episodes of _The Bachelor_ , and half of her glass of whiskey. She was definitely feeling the liquors effect, her eyes were droopy, and her skin tingled. She shot up off the couch, catching herself before she fell head first into the coffee table.

“Where in Andraste’s name have you been?” She asked him as he made his way into the living room. A large box under his arm.

“I had an early exam this morning, and once that was over I thought I’d go check out one of the shops near the university. We needed a lamp for the living room, right?”

Hawke nodded and then focused her attention on the box he held. “Yes, we do need a lamp, but don’t you think I should’ve been there? I mean, this is _my_ apartment after all.”

“It’s a great lamp, though. You’re going to love it!” Anders gushed as he sat the box on the coffee table and sat down, grabbing Hawke’s arm so she would follow suit.

The box was plain cardboard, giving Hawke no insight into what she would find inside. She didn’t have much faith in Anders’ ability to find something that would match her style, and he didn’t seem to have a style of his own to begin with.

Anders smiled brightly as he slowly opened the box and set the lamp out for Hawke to admire. She stared at it for a long time before speaking. It was… _hideous._ Hawke knew that _some_ people liked taxidermied ( _AN: I have searched this damn word everywhere, google gave me 2 different spellings, but none of the dictionaries think it’s real, obviously I’m making up words again_ ) animals, for some Maker damned reason, but why was she looking into the marbled eyes of a tabby? It seemed cruel, and weird. They had two living tabbies hiding somewhere in the apartment. Why did they need a stuffed one? She thought she might be sick, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the arched back, with the lamp post jutting out from the highest point.

“Well?” Anders asked, expectantly. “What do you think of it?”

“It’s, umm… nice, I suppose. Don’t you think it would look better in _your_ room? It just really doesn’t fit in the living room.”

Anders looked dejected as he lifted from the couch, gripping the cat lamp in his arms. “You don’t like it, then?”

“Anders, it’s a cat… Like, an actual fucking cat. Doesn’t that seem, I don’t know… wrong to you? Maybe if it was just a ceramic cat or something, but even then. Why would I want a cat lamp in the living room?”

Anders huffed and stormed off toward his bedroom.

Hawke sighed, and started the next episode, finishing the rest of her whiskey in one gulp.

  
_Andraste’s flaming ass, that was an ugly lamp._

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> if you want to see more like this... and like a ton that are WAY better, because the other authors are just amazing and I'm a potato... you should definitely follow [our blog!](http://dadrunkwriting.tumblr.com/)  
> you won't be disappointed. Or maybe you will be, but we're all (mostly) drunk and there's no editing, it's just silly writing shenanigans and we're all having too much fun to care :P


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